Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
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Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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