why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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