She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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