yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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