dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize