Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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