Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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