the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The power of my boobs compel you
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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