just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
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And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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