I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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