my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize