the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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