your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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