Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize