I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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