You can't special order awesome
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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