Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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