don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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