The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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