Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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