i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize