Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
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He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
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Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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