Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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