you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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