Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize