So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize