Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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