I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize