C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize