im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize