My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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