I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize