you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
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Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
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He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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