dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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