OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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