If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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