Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
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I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
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She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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