everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
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I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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