He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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