just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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