She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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