fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize