so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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