he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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