we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize