was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize