never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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