I hope mine doesn't look like that
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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