Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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