The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize